Simply Love—Thoughts of simplifying your current love story to your younger, puppy-love self

Forget about the mature adult relationships you may have had for just a moment. You know the ones: The perfectly planned out Valentine’s Day gifts—with greeting cards and expensive chocolates, perhaps even a tiny box of jewelry that was meticulously gift wrapped. You know those relationships where you talk about feelings and futures, make promises, commitments, investments and share responsibilities; before there were foot and backrubs, dinners to be made, date nights, in-laws, kids and noticeable idiosyncrasies. 

Go back as far as you can and remember a simple time when you were younger. Maybe it was a first crush or puppy love. Perhaps it was a young love or first kiss that sent shockwaves through your entire body. 
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In third grade, a boy named *Doug moved to our school. He was a fraternal twin. Doug was a sweet, soft spoken, but silently strong type of boy. I could tell he’d been through a lot, as I was also quiet and observant, inquisitive and insightful at a young age.
*{I’ve changed the names of the people in this  reflection of my first love /puppy love, sheer bliss, or whatever you want to call it; of simple times and of pure feeling of thoughtfulness and friendship.} 

    Dear Diary, 
    Today, Doug smiled at me and said ‘good job’ 
    when we played capture the flag in gym.

    Dear Diary, 
    On a bus ride to our field trip, Doug said 
    he liked me the most out of *Jenny and *Lucy.
    
    Dear Diary,
    After three Halloween parties Doug and I were 
    both invited to, Doug kissed me in the 
    back seat of his mom’s car.
    
    Dear Diary, 
    Today is the day after Halloween. Doug moved away. 
    I miss him so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever stop 
    thinking about him. 
    D+H=<3

Recently, I did some cleaning out of some old boxes I haven’t yet unpacked from my move three years ago. I uncovered a box of old journals, diaries, and poetry books. My very first diary had small purple and black flowers on it. As I thumbed through the pages, I noticed how much I had written about Doug. In one of the boxes, there were some of my childhood memories and mementos. While looking at all of the contents in the boxes, I stumbled upon free-hand drawings of Looney Toons characters, Tasmanian Devil and Goofy in perfectly colored crayons. To: Heidi. From: Doug. My heart actually skipped a beat. The fact that I was now an adult, standing in my home office, surrounded by textbooks on my shelves and taxes on my desk, seemed to melt away from the background. While I held onto these precious memories among the journal entries and construction paper, I was reminded of the strong imprint Doug had left on my heart. 

We sat next to each other and shared markers and snacks. He was the class artist and drew pictures for me. Whenever we were near each other, I would stare at his sweet freckled face, his light brown hair perfectly split in the middle with his mushroom haircut, and glistening hazel eyes. 

We took turns letting each other use the monkey bars or the water fountain first. We gave each other cool pencils and erasers, and seemed to save the best of things we each had to share with each other. 

We found quartz crystals and cool bugs for each other. He told me I was as pretty as the butterflies that were part of the class lesson on metamorphosis.  
 
We shared stories of our family troubles and listened to each other’s heartaches, wishing to trade places with one another. We spoke tentatively, kindly, and politely with one another. It was sheer excitement and full of warmth. 

From the start of third grade until the Halloween of fifth grade, this was my life. It wasn’t stressful or scandalous; we weren’t ever cross or agitated with one another. It wasn’t pressured or intense. It was friendship.

I was smitten. Doug and I seemed to have an understanding; I was his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend, although we never uttered the words. We must only have communicated this through kind, nervous eye glances and smiles. We knew that no one would come between us. No one did. It was smooth sailing because we had peace of mind. It was genuine. It was pure. It was simple. 

If I could summarize the parallels from what Doug and I shared back then to what would create a magical relationship for others, I’d have to say:

1. Simple acts of kindness should always be reciprocated from the heart. 
2. The best part of anything should be saved for the other. 
3. Together, marvel among nature and ‘the little things’.
4. Hand-made and from the heart are great ways to go.
5. Body language and smiling seem like a couple of many ideal ways to communicate.
6. When you’re interacting, make each other the main focus.
7. Do countless kind gestures for one another. 
8. It’s okay to be bashful, always humble and have sweet, unplanned interactions. 

Fast-forward to the present day, after multiple ‘adult relationships’, I don’t remember a single time I ever thought of this little boy, Doug, until this current relationship I have now. I can happily say that I have found the ‘one’. Unlike the younger me with Doug, I have the awareness and understanding to know that this kind of man, whom I am engaged to, doesn’t come around twice. I have the privilege of being a little older and wiser, deciphering and being picky among the many fish of the sea, to know this is a great man that I am with. I am reminded that thoughtfulness and love are the icebreakers to unearthing thoughts and feeling layered deep down. I am also reminded that I can be my genuine and authentic self, and don’t need anything more or less to feel as good as what I already know to be true. I now look into a different set of kind, gentle, loving eyes. I feel bliss. I feel simplicity. I feel unconditional love. I am at peace. 
I am very thankful that I knew Doug and the lessons of love and friendship I received from him. I wish him well, and hope he is lucky to find someone like I have. 

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HEIDI WILLIAMS

Heidi Williams is a foodie, yogi, dog-mom, hiker and animal and mountain lover. She has made the decision to be happy and continues to learn about herself and be a good listener to other people's experiences.  She has an entrepreneurial mindset and currently has a cleaning and organizing business.  She is dabbling in jewelry-making and writing; she was inspired by her sister, Holly Williams, owner of Pixie Chick Productions.  She lives in Massachusetts with her fiance and fur-baby.  Follow her on instagram at @hawilliams1912